Choosing Joy

Choosing joy has not been the easiest choice the last several weeks. I'm coming up on six months in Haiti. January was the month that for the first time since I moved here, I really felt the devil at work. I feel his presence and pushing and stirring and disrupting. He's been working overtime in Paradise Village against all that we are trying to accomplish -- both personally and as an organization. There was a moment last week where I came to the realization of "This is not God. This is the devil." Because many of the things that I personally am dealing with are just that -- personal, I'm not going to go into specific detail about these things. I do, however, want to share with you what the Lord has been revealing to and teaching me.

"His lord said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many thing. Enter into the joy of your lord.' "  

-Matthew 25:23

This is a verse that I stumbled across back in November, during one of my quiet times, but has stuck with me. The part that has really resonated with me over the last few months is "Enter into the joy of your Lord." Now, I understand, this servant was being welcomed into his master's joy because he was good and faithful. And, I can only hope that when I get to meet my Lord someday he will welcome me with this same enthusiasm. I also took away something else though. Joy is a choice. I can make the choice each and every day to be a joyful, good, and faithful servant. I can choose. Even on the toughest days, it's a choice. Sure, I could choose to be ungrateful or self-pitying or I could choose the joy of my Lord. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not always the best at making the right choice. It's also not to say that the choice of joy is an easy one. We're humans. We have flesh. We make mistakes. But, we can try to choose joy. We can make efforts in that direction. I truly believe God honors our efforts to be closer to Him, to be more like Him -- even if we don't get it right 100% of the time. So, I continue to remind myself to choose joy. 

"For when they speak great swelling words of emptiness, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through lewdness, the ones who have actually escaped from those who live in error. While they promise them liberty, they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by whom a person is overcome, by him also he is brought into bondage."

-2 Peter 2:18-19

"But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some count slackness, but is long-suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."

-2 Peter 3:8-9

These were another set of verses that spoke to me in my time with the Lord. Because we have a lot going on, and some things weren't going how I thought they should or expected them to, and I was battling with my own actions in the flesh, I wasn't putting my focus in the right place. The first verses listed above talk about how the things that consume our thoughts or our actions put us into bondage. When I read this verse, I knew -- I'm getting put into bondage by things that I'm stressed over and worrying about that I cannot control. I don't want to be in bondage to that! I don't want that to control me! And, as you keep reading in 2 Peter, you get to hear the wonderful truth about our Lord. HE IS NOT SLACK CONCERNING HIS PROMISE. He hasn't forgotten about us. In fact, he is LONG-SUFFERING with us! He's right by our side, in the trenches, walking through life. All the while, he has a plan. He already knows the outcome of these situations. All we have to do is lean on Him. Trust Him. Seek Him. Again, sometimes that is easier said than done. But again, I believe that God honors our efforts. Being aware of the situation you are in is the first step. The transformation to be in a constant state of joy is gradual as you change your mind's thinking to automatically find that joy and to turn immediately to the Lord in all situations.

The other thing that I have really focused on this year is my need and reliance for God. He is the only one who can fix my broken heart. He is my constant companion. He is my constant source of life. This battle that I'm fighting is primarily internal. It's between me and Jesus. (and pushing Satan straight out of the middle of it!) He's healing my heart as I'm learning to trust whole-heartedly in Him alone. I wanted to share a pretty personal part of my life, because I think that it is important as a body of Christ for us to know that the devil is at work. As a body of Christ, we can pray for each other and lift each other up. We can fight Satan for all that he is and what he's trying to do. We serve a big God that has already won the battle against him. I can find joy in that. So, please, keep praying. Your support means the world to me. It makes a difference.

So, will you join me in choosing joy?

With much love,
Caitlin